Before I became a mother, I fully intended to breastfed. But my views on extended breastfeeding changed dramatically in the weeks, months and years after I had my first child.
Before I gave birth to that sweet little bundle of joy, I was totally one of those women who made statements like these:
“Once a baby has teeth, it’s time to stop nursing.”
“Once they can ask for it – time to cut them off.”
“Breastfeeding past a year is just gross.”
At six months, my precious little daughter cut her first tooth. We kept breastfeeding.
At around 10 months, she learned she could pat my chest, say “nur-nur”, and I would know what she wanted. We kept breastfeeding.
We passed her 1st birthday and guess what? We kept breastfeeding.
What the Experts Say
The World Health Organization (WHO) and UNICEF, who are widely accepted as the authority in world health, recommend exclusively breastfeeding for 6 months (that means no food of any kind except for breast milk until a baby is 6 months old) and then continued breastfeeding “for two years and beyond”.
“But my friend says…”
The choice of when to stop breastfeeding shouldn’t be based on what our culture, your friends, your partner or your mother in law thinks. In a perfect world, every breastfeeding mother would have the support and encouragement of all the people in her life. Reality is often much different than this ideal picture. It’s heartbreaking to see mothers continually make choices based on wrong information or simply lack of information.
I’m an advocate of breast milk simply because it’s better for babies. It’s healthy for moms. It’s a smart economic choice. It’s recommended for at least the first 24 months of a child’s life. There is no comparable substitute for the milk that our bodies create just for our babies. Don’t allow misinformation, bias and ignorance play any part in your decision of when to stop breastfeeding.
“But my pediatrician says…”
Unfortunately, some of the worst advice I’ve heard mother’s receive about extended breastfeeding is from their child’s pediatrician. Pediatricians are not lactation consultants. Many do not take the effort to keep up with current recommendations or guidelines. I recently had a friend who’s pediatrician told her she should wean her 15 month old because “breastmilk has no nutritional value passed 12 months”. This is just a straight up lie, as this could not be further from the truth. If something your doctor recommends sets your spidey-sense off, there is probably a good reason for it.
Making a Choice That Works For You
Women who choose extended breastfeeding aren’t in it for some sort of invisible merit badge. It’s working for them, their child and their family, and they likely understand that there is no reason to stop just because their baby can now walk up to them and ask to nurse.
So how long did I breastfeed my kids? I gently weaned all three of them somewhere between their 2nd and 3rd birthday. Because that’s what worked for me. If you have a newborn or a small breastfed infant, you don’t need to make a decision right now. Don’t pigeonhole yourself into any timelines or self-imposed ultimatums.
I’m absolutely not saying that women who don’t breastfeed until the age of two are doing something wrong. I am saying that women who do breastfed until the age of two or beyond are not wrong either. Our support of other mothers should not be conditional. Support is critical for all mothers, regardless of whether or not we agree with their choices.
Even if it’s a length of time that you wouldn’t personally be comfortable with, let’s show up for each other with love, acceptance and support. Women already have so many obstacles in their path, let’s not add to the noise.